When Your Child Won’t Talk: The “Open When…” Communication Hack

Relationships and communication with our young people, no matter the stage of growth they are in, can at times seem daunting and confusing.

One moment our children want our love, cuddles, encouragement and support and the next it seems that no matter how we try to approach our children they will have nothing to do with it or us.

Just when you think you’ve mastered the steps of their new and complicated dance the music suddenly changes and you are left feeling left footed, unprepared and clumsy all over again.

Well, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone on the dance floor.  I think one thing we can all relate to as parents, no matter our parenting style and out look on child rearing, is that we all have a desire to be a voice into our children’s lives.  We all want the kind of relationship with our children that allows us to support them, know whats going on with them, even and most especially when they are closed off and distant but we are often left wondering how can I do that when my child won’t talk to me.

This idea made my heart burst.  I loved it from the moment I heard about it.

While it is a different form of communication, leaving us in the dark so to speak it is a simple yet effective way to be a voice in your child’s life even when they are being isolating and uncommunicative.

The concept is that you write supportive messages pertaining to a multitude of different possible scenarios, emotions and situations that your child could be experiencing.  Each envelope is titled Open when….ex. you are feeling angry…..you are feeling bad about your body……when you are feeling alone in the world……

when you are feeling confused……like you need to know how much I love you…..you need to laugh…..

The “Open When…” Letter Communication Hack

In these envelopes you can share personal experiences of your own, jokes, quotes, stickers, gift certificates to get a coffee with you to talk, your imagination is your limit!

You give these envelopes to your child to keep somewhere special in their own space. They will then have the freedom and privacy to explore the support and love and encouragement from you even when they really just don’t feel like talking and opening up about their emotions or circumstance.  While the ideal will always be a healthy open relationship the reality is that at times this isn’t so.  If you are lucky enough to have a constant solid relationship with your children these little reminders are a gift that keeps on giving all through adolescence.

“Open When…” Ideas to Get You Started

Open When..

• … you are feeling angry.

• … you are feeling bad about your body.

• … you are feeling alone in the world.

• … you are feeling confused.

• … you need to know how much I love you.

• … you need a laugh.

What to Include

• Personal experiences of your own.
• Jokes or funny quotes.

• Inspirational quotes or stickers.

• Gift certificates (like for coffee with you to talk).

• Simple drawings or keepsakes.

We all could use a little more love, support and encouragement in our lives.